I'm not a grumpy old man, just an out of synch hippy

Thursday, 31 January 2013


Winter work-outs
Anything's better than painting the ceiling

Baby boomers know that they can’t follow the lifestyle of their twenties. If they did they’d be dead, in prison, or confined to bed all day. OK, that last one seems a pretty attractive option, but some of us are still trying to do stuff.

Public-spirited as ever, this blog is now going to share with you a stress-free, easy daily exercise regime, a great way of keeping fit through the freezing winter. It’s a gentle way of working up to half-marathon running (after which you may well be dead, in prison or confined to bed)

First thing in the morning
Get out of bed. Get back into bed. Get out of bed again. Get back into bed. Repeat until your partner groans “For heaven’s sake, I’ll make  the tea.” Now you have the incentive of a nice hot brew, getting up will be easier.

Mental leaps (mid morning)
Sit on your sofa and imagine doing a series of jumps. If this is a bit strenuous, imagine someone else jumping. When I was at Drama School my method acting teacher told me that thinking was doing. Ever since then, I’ve followed her words avidly.

Horizontal Star Jumps (After Lunch)
These are regulation Star Jumps, but you do them lying down on the carpet. If you’re feeling hard-core, do them face-down.  While you’re down there, you can always look for the contact lens you dropped.

Bath Push-ups (evening)
If you run enough water to hold your body weight, this is a breeze. It’s also an excellent breathing exercise as you struggle to avoid gulping down the soapy brine.

Drinking Very Fast (late evening)
Aerobic boozing is a great workout for the arms, the legs (getting up to the fridge for another can) and the lungs as you bellow even louder at the TV.

Good luck. And if these fail, you can always lie in bed till the spring.

5 comments:

  1. You'll kill these guys. Looks like you actually disguised two exercises as one in the last one. The bellowing at the TV is called "lung"es, after the organ it exercises. If two people participate in the exercise it becomes "verbal volleying". And if a remote is involved...I am sure you can imagine the rest.

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  2. Great ideas. Let's bring in the cushions and we have the complete exercise book!

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  3. I've done of all of the above, except for the bubble push-ups - sorry, bath push-ups.
    My method acting teachers told me the same about thinking (thinking is acting); besides, I have always believed too that the mind can do miracles. I can think I'm warm, and I'm warm. I can think I'm drinking, and I'm no longer thirsty. I can think I'm drinking water, and the whiskey in my glass suddenly flows down like nothing!

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  4. Greetings from Montreal, Canada. Great ideas!

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  5. Thanks, Linda. Montreal, eh? I see it's minus ten degrees there - I'm impressed you've even got out of bed!

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