I Drink Therefore I Am
Beer goes
with stuff. This is what writers are discovering. British writer Pete Brown has entertainingly linked
different beers with music. Stephen Beaumont rhapsodically matches ales and
food. Never one to allow a bandwagon to remain unjumped-upon, here’s my
contribution to this new genre: matching beers with Western philosophers. (And
occasionally Eastern ones)
DESCARTES Has to
be Belgian Duvel beer. A glug of its mind-blowingly complex flavours and
thumping 8.5% ABV strength induces delirium. Mutter “I think therefore I am”
and you’ll regain consciousness quickly for glug no. 2.
GANDHI A
pint of refreshing Nethergate Umbel is ideal after a long hot dusty day’s trudge
in your sandals. If yet another punter asks
“Please, Guru, let me sit at your feet while you explain to me your
doctrine of non-violence” its moderate 3.9% ABV strength helps you resist the
urge to punch them in the mouth.
KARL MARX What else
but Tetley’s Bitter, the ultimate working man’s beer? Medium strength, you’ll
be able to knock back a few and still have the volition to storm a palace or
two.
NEITZSCHE The proponent of the Superman deserves nothing less than the
world’s strongest beer, Schorschbock 57. If you want to shed your meek Clark
Kent persona and turn into the Man of Steel, a stein of this, at atom-splitting
57.5% ABV, is better than popping into a phone booth.
HEGEL His big idea was the dialectic – a clash of
crazy opposites (thesis and antithesis). His beer has to be Belgian Kriek which
merges beer and cherries. And leads to the satisfying synthesis of getting you
pissed.
ADAM SMITH the theorist of capitalism with “The Wealth
of Nations.” His beer must be Budweiser.
The Busche family, who brew it, maybe aren’t a nation but have become
richer than one.
What do you
mean, you’re not a philosopher? Drink more beer!
I was wondering what beer Schopenhauer might drink... and Heraclitus.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree on Adam Smith: Budweiser.
And Carl Marx, witty choice!
Nice thoughts. Heraclitus was probably a wine drinker, which is why I know nothing about him.
DeleteTrust these are appropriate connections. I wouldn't know as India has only two kinds of beer; the one that is drinkable and the one that is not. Perhaps that is why Gandhi remained a teetotaller.
ReplyDeleteIf Gandhi had discovered Umbel, he might have decided to stay in the pub... and history would be completely different....
Delete