In
PC World no one can hear you scream
I bought a new monitor today. It’s lying on my bed still
in the box. I only fit new hardware early in the day: I’m terrified of clicking
a wrong button or something and putting all of London’s lights out.
As soon as I get into PC World, though, my
technophobia turns into slavering. It’s a bit like a puritan stumbling across a
very raunchy porn site. Like most men, gleaming black surfaces and glowing
moving images bring out something deep within me. Maybe it’s some kind of prehistoric
DNA memory of spotting the shiny tusks of mammoths striding through the tundra.
I spend minutes drooling over and caressing smooth rectangular objects whose
function is beyond me.
I’m pathetically eager not to seem a technoprat to
the young assistants. This makes me ask questions which must make them think
I’ve escaped from an institute for the semi-criminally insane. Pointing to a prospective
monitor I found myself blabbering stuff like “How many RAM does it have?” or “Does
it have a Blu Ray port?” when what I really want to ask is “Is that thing the
On Switch?”
I’ve been trying to restrain myself from loading up
with irresistible gadgets ever since I came home with what I thought was a tablet
but was in fact a photo frame. I try to restrict impulse buys to the cheap
stuff. I’ve a drawer full of mouse mats, two or three unused laptop bags and loads
of books on Linux. I haven’t a clue what a Linux is, what it looks like or even
whether I’ve got one. If you can advise, could you let me know?
I’m not giving out my email, though. If there’s a
power cut across London tomorrow, I don’t want you getting on to me.
All I can say is welcome to the club!
ReplyDeleteI'm now a follower.
I have a blog where I write about acting and about the arts in general.
I'd be happy if you visited and, if you're interested in what I write, you're also welcome as a follower!
Have a nice weekend!
Jay Paoloni
jacopopaoloni.blogspot.com
Thanks,Jay. I'm following your stuff. I'm an actor & writer too. Hope you enjoy my ramblings..
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